I have been technically ‘jobless’ for 3 days now and honestly, I am enjoying the perks that come with unemployment- I sleep late (as in… way late), I window shop in ebay for hours (as my sis says, I have to stay ‘liquid’ to avoid financial crisis, no more bidding for me in the meantime), I blog, I surf the net, I take care of my kids, I wake up in the afternoon, I watch TV, I read my favorite novels… Oh my… the list is endless!  However, just as I am starting to embrace the lifestyle of a bum, here comes an attractive job opportunity that is literally banging the doors of my haven of complacency…  As Joy says (we resigned almost at the same time), she did not expect the offers to start pouring in immediately… I mean,we are still on ‘sleep mode’… after going through hell and back, we really as in really deserve this break…

However, should we really let this opportunity go? Should we let it pass and choose, instead, to wallow in the oblivion of relaxation and comfort?   Am I really going to stall and wait… hoping that when I’m all fed up resting, the same offer will arrive, and accept me when I am ready?

To be honest, it’s really hard to decide… however, here are some points that might convince me to join the work force again…

1) the selfish need to have purchasing power again

2) the desire to save and re-build my ruined self-esteem

3) the yearning to grow professionally

4) the nagging feelings of guilt- me resting, while my husband and parents toil endlessly is discomfiting…

Well… the final verdict is – OK I accept…I will try to relish my last few ‘dead wood’ days, rest my mind a bit, and gear myself for whatever is coming…

“The only way to GROW is to have the initiative to get out of your COMFORT ZONE… and do things you thought you could not do…”

Rej sent this to me the night prior her resignation. We were trying to talk her out of it but I guess her own reasons made her firm about her decision. She is the fourth to leave… Unbelievably, management did not persuade her to stay. She said the discussion about her resignation had been brief and swift… direct to the point…
Like the first people to go (Joy and me actually  ), she was told to work on her clearance right away, no need to report until May 30. With that, she will start going through the same process as we did- pack-up, turn-over, and say her goodbyes in the quickest time possible.
Several issues have been circulating… they said, our resignation was not ‘properly’ done. Joy and Rej left their letters on the HR’s desk and mine was sent via email. I cannot exactly agree to that… as in many other processes, there is no clear SOP as regards to resignations. What I am pretty sure about is that you should send it 15 or 30 days prior to your last day and that, the person resigning should meet with his/her immediate superior to discuss the matter…
We tried our best to set a long enough time frame prior to our departure. In some ways, we can still help out with the first week class preparations. But I guess, they have other plans for us so they shortened our stay…
When one of my co-teachers asked why, one of the supposed managers said ‘pasalamat nga sila babayaran sila kahit di na magtrabaho’… In my opinion… this statement is harsh and mean… I cried buckets of tears when I found out about it.
But anyways, enough is enough and Im glad to finally close that chapter in my life.
I am now looking into other possibilities in my life. I wish to get a job soon but I am not sure where yet. First on my agenda is to update my CV… collect documents… and ready myself for a fresh new start…

Last Day Thoughts
Today I bid goodbye to BWS… I woke up heavy hearted as the reality of it all is slowly and painfully, penetrating my being. No… I do not regret my decision. However, regardless of how firm I was, BWS had been like a family to me. Some people would say that what I did was cowardice… that I do not have the quality of sportsmanship in me… Well, honestly, what had triggered my urge to leave had been feelings of betrayal and incompetence… Betrayal because I did so much for this institution, yet it had to end this way… Incompetence because my sense of self worth was wounded…

But… as Joezhel would do in my shoes… he will leave everything with a smile… maybe even with humor. Like him, I will be packing my 7 year clutter with joy in my heart… I will be clearing my table with the hope of messing another one someday… I will be completing my clearance form with the optimism of signing a new employment contract soon… I will be bidding farewell to my friends with the expectation of meeting new ones in the future… Haaaay… the possibilities are endless…

In my heart… I am now OK… really… No more bitterness… just acceptance and excitement for the better days to come…

Tearful farewells pervaded the preschool lobby hours before we left.  We have been OK… as if ready for the reality that will soon befall us… And then, that one final blow struck painfully and hurtfully… How could a fellow employee, whom I have worked with for the past 7 years utter such hateful words?

My co-preschool teacher just could not suppress the facebook conversation she had with this ‘supposedly’ loving and God-fearing individual.  Listening to her story of what had transpired in that conversation, I could just imagine how infuriated she was at us… as if we did something so horrible to her…

Again, she stressed how upset the other people in the company were at us.  Again, she emphasized that we have been bossy.  Again, she blurted that most of the departments do not like us…

Well, guess what.  We surveyed and asked.  Somehow, if we have offended anybody in anyway, I am sure we did not intend it to be that way.  Surprisingly, these people were wondering where that information originated… true there have been instances of possible miscommunication and arguments … but definitely, not enough to warrant ETERNAL CONDEMNATION…

All organizations experience conflicts.  Management should do their best to pacify their people.  Pacifying does not mean penetrating from the inside, and influencing the ‘others’ as if appearing concerned about their welfare… Using this strategy will further alienate the ‘accused’… depriving them of their only wish- to have a graceful and peaceful exit in a company they worked hard for… True enough… the outcome had been worst.  More questions surfaced… there was uneasiness… Thankfully, instead of being swayed, these people felt sympathy for the accused…

I know I sound ‘mysterious’ but I want to leave the details be… I just hope that one day, everything works out the way everybody wants it to be… that some people, who are gifted at eying the frailties of other human beings would realize that they too are not perfect… only God is…

After one last glance at my idol’s (aheheh) site… I finally found the courage to type my resignation letter and forward it to my boss.  I wanted my letter to be informal and personal… maybe, when all is settled, I might just share it with you guys.  Well, anyways, I sent the letter via email, which is, again, pretty unconventional.  Then I found out that she is leaving in a little while so I asked my good pal Patty to tell her to read her email first.  And so she did… actually, just the thought of her reading my letter brought chills to my bones.  I was anxious and restless… I wanted to know her reaction… I wanted to know that everything is OK and that she would not storm out of her nook and shout obscenities at me… Thankfully, the first few hours after that dreadful submission were peaceful… I heard she went on with her appointment and everything seemed to be pretty normal.

Then, all of a sudden, Joy (a fellow ‘quitter’ hehehe), went to see me and told me the shocking (well, it was shocking initially heheh) news. Instead of May 30 being our last reporting day, she apparently announced that our last day shall be on Friday, May 22!  Of course, I was alarmed… For one, I pondered on the idea that she must really be upset so she wants us to depart the premises as soon as we can… this is not a good thought for me because I do not want to leave this company with a heavy heart.  I mean… come on… it has been my second home for the last 7 years… It’s not a good time to start burning bridges…

Well anyways, I went to see her… Surprisingly, she welcomed me warmly and asked me to get a chair… On her laptop screen was my letter. Hmmm… from the looks of it she seems OK. And she was, really… Anyway, we started to talk and I told her that Iwant to leave with the ‘good times’ in my heart.  She said she isn’t upset… disappointed probably because of the fact that classes start in less than 3 weeks… But then we chatted for a while until finally, I said goodbye.

Even though the reason for our ‘expulsion’ hehehe had been somewhat clear to me, my thoughts linger on other possible explanations as to why she asked us to leave at an earlier date… Anyway, for my peace of mind, I chose to believe what she said… that’s easier and more bearable.