As with many teenagers and teenager-wanna be’s right now, I am now officially and insanely hooked with Twilight… I could not resist buying my own boxed set of Stephenie Meyer’s masterpiece. Believe me, the feeling of satisfaction was nothing like buying a new Zara, Mango or Kamiseta dress… it is utterly beyond words… magical perhaps… like I now have my own vampire Edward with me…. Insane…

Reading the Twilight saga has indeed been worth the many sleep deprivations I have had in the last 4 weeks. Maybe, the thing that made me really guilty was the fact that I stole away some time that was supposedly meant for my children and work (By the way, I am now a non-bum… I accepted a teaching assignment in another school). Anyway, I really have the tendency to be easily addicted at something. I can still vividly recall how I fell maddeningly infatuated with Jo In Sung of Memories of Bali and Jerry Yan of Meteor Garden… At 31, however, I have now learned to discriminate my thoughts… like for example realizing that my fanaticism with Edward Cullen is not the same as that of Robert Pattinson.

Part of it is that I really love to read a good novel once in a while. I would gladly zoom in the pages of my favorite fiction than read inspirational materials. I get a knack out of following the lives of make-believe characters… crying with them and feeling their pain, laughing or fuming with anger with them, and of course, relishing the kilig moments, as if I am really a part of the story … Insane again…

Right about now, I am enjoying my second round of Twilight madness… squeezing in the opportunity once in a while amidst my chaotic but happy world of reality… These few and stolen moments elate me in ways that are indescribable… Not really alienating me from what is real but more of appreciating everything that I have. I have my Edward in the person of my loving and funny Paulo, I have my own Cullens, I have my Reneesmes’… what more can I ask for? I mean, really, when I think about it, life could not be much better than this…

I have been technically ‘jobless’ for 3 days now and honestly, I am enjoying the perks that come with unemployment- I sleep late (as in… way late), I window shop in ebay for hours (as my sis says, I have to stay ‘liquid’ to avoid financial crisis, no more bidding for me in the meantime), I blog, I surf the net, I take care of my kids, I wake up in the afternoon, I watch TV, I read my favorite novels… Oh my… the list is endless!  However, just as I am starting to embrace the lifestyle of a bum, here comes an attractive job opportunity that is literally banging the doors of my haven of complacency…  As Joy says (we resigned almost at the same time), she did not expect the offers to start pouring in immediately… I mean,we are still on ‘sleep mode’… after going through hell and back, we really as in really deserve this break…

However, should we really let this opportunity go? Should we let it pass and choose, instead, to wallow in the oblivion of relaxation and comfort?   Am I really going to stall and wait… hoping that when I’m all fed up resting, the same offer will arrive, and accept me when I am ready?

To be honest, it’s really hard to decide… however, here are some points that might convince me to join the work force again…

1) the selfish need to have purchasing power again

2) the desire to save and re-build my ruined self-esteem

3) the yearning to grow professionally

4) the nagging feelings of guilt- me resting, while my husband and parents toil endlessly is discomfiting…

Well… the final verdict is – OK I accept…I will try to relish my last few ‘dead wood’ days, rest my mind a bit, and gear myself for whatever is coming…

“The only way to GROW is to have the initiative to get out of your COMFORT ZONE… and do things you thought you could not do…”

Rej sent this to me the night prior her resignation. We were trying to talk her out of it but I guess her own reasons made her firm about her decision. She is the fourth to leave… Unbelievably, management did not persuade her to stay. She said the discussion about her resignation had been brief and swift… direct to the point…
Like the first people to go (Joy and me actually  ), she was told to work on her clearance right away, no need to report until May 30. With that, she will start going through the same process as we did- pack-up, turn-over, and say her goodbyes in the quickest time possible.
Several issues have been circulating… they said, our resignation was not ‘properly’ done. Joy and Rej left their letters on the HR’s desk and mine was sent via email. I cannot exactly agree to that… as in many other processes, there is no clear SOP as regards to resignations. What I am pretty sure about is that you should send it 15 or 30 days prior to your last day and that, the person resigning should meet with his/her immediate superior to discuss the matter…
We tried our best to set a long enough time frame prior to our departure. In some ways, we can still help out with the first week class preparations. But I guess, they have other plans for us so they shortened our stay…
When one of my co-teachers asked why, one of the supposed managers said ‘pasalamat nga sila babayaran sila kahit di na magtrabaho’… In my opinion… this statement is harsh and mean… I cried buckets of tears when I found out about it.
But anyways, enough is enough and Im glad to finally close that chapter in my life.
I am now looking into other possibilities in my life. I wish to get a job soon but I am not sure where yet. First on my agenda is to update my CV… collect documents… and ready myself for a fresh new start…

Last Day Thoughts
Today I bid goodbye to BWS… I woke up heavy hearted as the reality of it all is slowly and painfully, penetrating my being. No… I do not regret my decision. However, regardless of how firm I was, BWS had been like a family to me. Some people would say that what I did was cowardice… that I do not have the quality of sportsmanship in me… Well, honestly, what had triggered my urge to leave had been feelings of betrayal and incompetence… Betrayal because I did so much for this institution, yet it had to end this way… Incompetence because my sense of self worth was wounded…

But… as Joezhel would do in my shoes… he will leave everything with a smile… maybe even with humor. Like him, I will be packing my 7 year clutter with joy in my heart… I will be clearing my table with the hope of messing another one someday… I will be completing my clearance form with the optimism of signing a new employment contract soon… I will be bidding farewell to my friends with the expectation of meeting new ones in the future… Haaaay… the possibilities are endless…

In my heart… I am now OK… really… No more bitterness… just acceptance and excitement for the better days to come…

Tearful farewells pervaded the preschool lobby hours before we left.  We have been OK… as if ready for the reality that will soon befall us… And then, that one final blow struck painfully and hurtfully… How could a fellow employee, whom I have worked with for the past 7 years utter such hateful words?

My co-preschool teacher just could not suppress the facebook conversation she had with this ‘supposedly’ loving and God-fearing individual.  Listening to her story of what had transpired in that conversation, I could just imagine how infuriated she was at us… as if we did something so horrible to her…

Again, she stressed how upset the other people in the company were at us.  Again, she emphasized that we have been bossy.  Again, she blurted that most of the departments do not like us…

Well, guess what.  We surveyed and asked.  Somehow, if we have offended anybody in anyway, I am sure we did not intend it to be that way.  Surprisingly, these people were wondering where that information originated… true there have been instances of possible miscommunication and arguments … but definitely, not enough to warrant ETERNAL CONDEMNATION…

All organizations experience conflicts.  Management should do their best to pacify their people.  Pacifying does not mean penetrating from the inside, and influencing the ‘others’ as if appearing concerned about their welfare… Using this strategy will further alienate the ‘accused’… depriving them of their only wish- to have a graceful and peaceful exit in a company they worked hard for… True enough… the outcome had been worst.  More questions surfaced… there was uneasiness… Thankfully, instead of being swayed, these people felt sympathy for the accused…

I know I sound ‘mysterious’ but I want to leave the details be… I just hope that one day, everything works out the way everybody wants it to be… that some people, who are gifted at eying the frailties of other human beings would realize that they too are not perfect… only God is…

After one last glance at my idol’s (aheheh) site… I finally found the courage to type my resignation letter and forward it to my boss.  I wanted my letter to be informal and personal… maybe, when all is settled, I might just share it with you guys.  Well, anyways, I sent the letter via email, which is, again, pretty unconventional.  Then I found out that she is leaving in a little while so I asked my good pal Patty to tell her to read her email first.  And so she did… actually, just the thought of her reading my letter brought chills to my bones.  I was anxious and restless… I wanted to know her reaction… I wanted to know that everything is OK and that she would not storm out of her nook and shout obscenities at me… Thankfully, the first few hours after that dreadful submission were peaceful… I heard she went on with her appointment and everything seemed to be pretty normal.

Then, all of a sudden, Joy (a fellow ‘quitter’ hehehe), went to see me and told me the shocking (well, it was shocking initially heheh) news. Instead of May 30 being our last reporting day, she apparently announced that our last day shall be on Friday, May 22!  Of course, I was alarmed… For one, I pondered on the idea that she must really be upset so she wants us to depart the premises as soon as we can… this is not a good thought for me because I do not want to leave this company with a heavy heart.  I mean… come on… it has been my second home for the last 7 years… It’s not a good time to start burning bridges…

Well anyways, I went to see her… Surprisingly, she welcomed me warmly and asked me to get a chair… On her laptop screen was my letter. Hmmm… from the looks of it she seems OK. And she was, really… Anyway, we started to talk and I told her that Iwant to leave with the ‘good times’ in my heart.  She said she isn’t upset… disappointed probably because of the fact that classes start in less than 3 weeks… But then we chatted for a while until finally, I said goodbye.

Even though the reason for our ‘expulsion’ hehehe had been somewhat clear to me, my thoughts linger on other possible explanations as to why she asked us to leave at an earlier date… Anyway, for my peace of mind, I chose to believe what she said… that’s easier and more bearable.

After about 6 months of admin duties and zero teaching load, I now enter the teaching force again.  Thanks to a teacher who resigned from her post just a week ago.  Nobody was qualified enough to handle her class. Even my qualifications (which include a 7 year teaching experience) were questioned. Why? simply because this class was no ordinary class- It was a baby’s class.  Yes, I was rigidly trained to be a teacher- like an old teacher’s joke says- oldtime teachers can teach even while sleeping.  However, I knew that regardless of my education, training, seminars, and experience, I am to face another battle in my life- another arena where the participants, the rules, and the goals are different.  And of course, the cautious and paranoid individual in me prompted me to be ready and fully geared for the battle ahead.

Why others doubted my capability as a pre-nursery teacher was understandable.  For one, I was known to be strict and worse, a notorious goal-setter.  I maintained high expectations for my previous students in Kinder. Hence, according to my co-teachers, I may suffer from bouts of frustration.

I believe that they are wrong.  One of the things that a teacher should first do is to know the learners.  Knowing the learners would help you understand their nature.  Understanding their nature would guide you in choosing the appropriate teaching strategies and classroom management styles.

Pre-nursery children in Brightwoods School can be as young as 1 year and 6 months to 2 years and 11 months.  The approach should be non-threatening and at the same time, not overly lenient.  Rapport and the building of trust were the firsts on my agenda.  What made the whole thing a bit complicated was the fact that they have had a teacher before.  Somehow, I had to win the kids first before I can really teach them.

In terms of activities, multi-sensorial tasks are preferable.  Kids their age, learn when all senses are engaged in the learning process.  Also, teachers should be entertaining as well, with plenty of gimmicks, voice modulation, and games to pique interest.

So far, I have had one successful day with them.  Tomorrow will be a new adventure, a new experience to learn from.  And as always, I will give it my 100% effort.

Just recently, I was given the opportunity of becoming one of the production members of Les Miserables- the showtime presentation of Brightwoods School’s highschool graduating batch.  I was tasked to handle the costumes and inspite of the short notice, I believe that I was able to do my part well… However, what was really memorable was the collective efforts of each and everyone in the team.  Under the helm of our showtime director, Ditas Yap, everything went on smoothly and according to plan.  We are overwhelmed with the rave reviews of people who witnessed the event.  Again, we have proven that, together, we can really make great things happen!

Allow me to share my experience as a prod staff.  Being in-charge of costumes, I was able to mingle with the cast.  Just like any highschool batch, theirs was an interesting bunch of personalities.  Being a preschool teacher, they do not really know me, but then again, they welcomed me heartily and appreciated the help I have extended to them.  Penetrating the group and earning their support came in easy.  I have realized that inspite of their natural playfulness and easy going attitude, they were all for the success of the play!  I have been a witness to the hard work that each of them had accorded to the presentation… They helped each other, becoming leaders in each of their own way.  Indeed, it was a remarkable display of team work and camaraderie… To everybody, Congratulations!

Congratulations to Basil who plays Valjean, the lead character.  He seems to have it all- good looks, brains, and most importantly, sheer determination.  His leadership qualities emanate as he steers the group towards focusing on the success of the play.

Congratulations to Marius and Javert, played by Papo and Gelo.  With their intensity as actors, they might even make it big in the movie industry!

Congratulations to the Thenardiers, played by Mao and Miko.  What a funny tandem! Their appalling behavior towards young Cosette was overshadowed by their comical and hilarious antics.

Congratulations to Fantine, Cosette, and Eponine… their realistic portrayals brought tears to the audience’s eyes.

Congratulations also to Eugene and Gaston, who brought justice to their roles as support for the leads!

And of course, to the whole fourth year highschool brood, Congratulations!  A big hand to you guys!

To the Brightwoods School Prod Staff, what can I say but, WE DID IT AGAIN… Three cheers for us!  Congrats Ditas, Marvin, Jhoan, X, Eric, John, Joy, Shiela, James, Jay, Ryan, Leilah, and Francis!

Last Sunday, me and my family went to manila to visit the much-talked about new attraction in Star City, the Snow World.  We saw it on TV and so we set out to witness it ourselves.  Since we are based in Angeles, we left really early, like 7am, because we wanted to avoid the long lines.  We’ve been to Star City before and we knew how long the queues can be.  We arrived by 11 am, only to find out that the place was still closed and opening time was 2pm. We decided to kill time in MOA and have our lunch there (which is a practical idea considering how expensive the food is inside Star City).  We would have wanted to leave after lunch but there was a sudden downpour which prompted us to stay in the mall some more… then finally, we headed right back to Star City.

I decided to put Scribbles and Doodles for the title of my blog site… Scribbles and Doodles is the title of my column in our school paper- Happy Faces.  I hope they don’t mind me using it… In my column, I usually write about all sorts of preschool things. For my blog, I want to have a wider coverage and go beyond my teaching profession.

What is the origin of scribbles and doodles? As we know, Language Development has four strands: Listening, Speaking, Reading, and Writing.  In contrast to what other people may think, writing skills develop even before children learn to write letters and words.  In fact, early writing skills become evident by the time your child holds a pencil or a crayon and pretends to write.  When babies start to scribble and doodle on our newly-painted walls, important work documents, newspapers, floors, etc., that is already a sign of emerging writing skills.  I know that as parents, our first reaction, if such incident would happen, is to scold our child for being naughty and for messing up our house.  But you know what, beyond that, we should realize that our child is on the onset of a discovery… he or she is learning to write! So before we scream our lungs out, let us think out of the box and consider that it is all a process of learning.  Maybe then, we’d be less angry…